dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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