and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
