Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
