I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
