Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
