I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am available for nakedness
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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