Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
