This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
