Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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