this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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