I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
