I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
