Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
