North Korea, Best Korea!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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