Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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