I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
