Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize