My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
