Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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