would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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