he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize