Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
