elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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