I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
this is an emotional support booty call
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
