So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize