please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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