He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
