hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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