is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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