I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am available for nakedness
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
