I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
