i would punch a child for taco bell
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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