I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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