At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
