We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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