apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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