I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
