pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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