apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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