I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
