even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the day after is always just damage control
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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