For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
