I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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