i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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