What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
