Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
