Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
