Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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