Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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