My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
