Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
