She said her name was "party"
Can Purell be used as lube?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
