so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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