hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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